Managing It
by Rainbor123
Summary: What if Sam told Leah about being a wolf? What if they agree to work through it together? Find out...
1. Chapter 1

" _What the hell?_ " I screech at Sam when he walks through our doorway, two weeks after he disappeared. I get ready to launch into a rant, preparing all my insults, readying myself mentally for whatever shit excuse he has for leaving me for _two weeks_ without any warning or note when I see his face. It's scrunched and it's sad and- hell, I don't know how to handle this! Sam looks sad. His head is bowed and even though his shoulders are much wider than I remember and I have to look up higher than I ever had to before, he looks smaller than I have ever seen him. He looks lost and lonely and even though I am so mad at him that I could cry, I decide that that look he has is more important that my anger. "What happened, Sam?"

His head shoots up as if he didn't know I was in the room, and suddenly he is in front of me hugging me as if _I_ was the one who went missing. "Leah." He breathes my name in like it is his first breath in days.

Now I'm really concerned, I haven't seen Sam this troubled in years, certainly not since we started dating. His arms are still holding me in a vice and he hasn't explained anything so I try to ease myself out of his arms only to find them tightening around me.

I let out a breathy laugh. "Sam, unless you're into necrophilia, you might want to loosen your arms a bit." His arms are immediately at his sides and his face tightens in a combination of anger and fear. " _Come on_. Tell me. What happened?" He opens his mouth and then closes it a little and then opens it again.

"I- I can't tell you."

I give a deadpan look and raise my eyebrows. "Oh, you can't tell me. Okay. That's fine. I guess that explanation makes up for all the nights I spent on the phone calling people or on the _streets_ looking for you. For two weeks. _Two weeks_. I haven't gotten a night of rest in fourteen days. I've been organizing search parties and worrying about finding a corpse and do you know how _stressful_ that is? Do I look like I give a shit about your _goddamned_ rules? Do I look like I can handle the uncertainty that comes along with you _not telling where you were for two goddamned weeks?_ "

I know what I look like. It isn't pretty. I wasn't lying about not sleeping. I have bags the size of China under my eyes, my face is gaunt, and I haven't had any desire for food since Sam failed to came back home after work that first day. I haven't had a shower in three days and I definitely have a grey hair somewhere.

Sam takes a moment to study my face and his eyebrows pull together to form that little ripple of skin about the bridge of his nose that signifies his worry and he- "Did you just _smell_ me?" I demand. I know I'm not the most hygiene-orientated person at the moment, but it isn't like I smell!

I think.

He looks away guiltily.

"Okay, I'll let that one go. But will you please tell me what happened? And don't give me that shit about not telling anyone. Don't you trust me?" I look at him pleadingly. He slowly nods his head and I sag a little with relief.

Sam looks a little hesitant, so I decide to encourage him. "Come on, baby, you know I love you. Nothing will ever change that." I smile sweetly at him and tilt my head a bit.

"I don't know how to say." Sam says, shifting his massive frame from one foot to the other.

"I am sure the straightforward attempt will work the best. No beating around the bush. Lay it out for me. Rip off the band-aid" I say, my agitation increasing as I wonder if I'll have to kill some random woman for sleeping with him or beat up the mafia because he owes some dipshit money.

Sam nods resolutely, meeting my eyes and taking a deep breath. "You know those old stories, the ones Old Quill used to tell us? The legends about the Cold Ones and the Reservations protectors? I am one- a protector, not a Cold One."

"What."

"I am a werewolf.. I spent two weeks attempting to figure out how to reverse the shift and become human again."

My face goes blank again. "You mean to tell me, that while I was worrying my ass off, you were _gallivanting about in the woods?_ " I manage to control the pitch of my voice this time so its less of a squeak and more like a harsh whisper, with my right eye twitching from lack of sleep and my hands clenched with fury.

Sam just looks confused. "You- You aren't freaking out."

" _NOT FREAKING OUT? I AM FREAKING OUT._ Do you know how batshit you sound? 'I am a werewolf'" I say mockingly. "I know I said to rip the band-aid off but I wasn't expecting there to be a wolf underneath it!" I yell. I gather myself a little, reining in my temper. "But you are a shit liar so either you're telling the truth or crazy. If you're crazy its best to just humor you until I can contact someone and if you're telling the truth, I'll need some proof." I respond calmly.

Sam's facial expression changes to that of relief. "Okay, I can do that. Let's go outside."

He walks out the back door and I follow. Then he starts taking off his clothes. "Woah, Sam! We're outside! I know we've done some weird shit, but now is _not_ the time!" Sam gives me a sardonic smile and finishes removing his clothes. Then standing in his place a huge ass wolf. Like, as big as a _bear_. That can't be normal.

I gape openly at the wolf that, if was standing on its hind legs, would tower over me like a two story building. "Holy shit, you're bigger than a truck." I go up to him to run my fingers along the fur on his side and fell the muscles under my hand tense up in response. "And you're built like a fucking brick. I guess I'll have to start working out again to be able to catch up to you." I say with a grin that Sam responds to with a wolfy smile.

We'll be okay.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to those who reviewed, brankel1(As always, thank you so much!) and Clever Enough (I'm sure you are.)**

* * *

We are okay. For a little while.

Then my cousin comes to visit, I invited her over to tell her the news of Sam's proposal. Let's just say it didn't go well.

When Sam met her he froze for a minute and quickly excused himself; he said something about going to see the Elders. I was a little pissed off, after all, Emily drove all the way out to our reservation to meet him, but I soon found out why.

"You did _WHAT_?" I yelled, beginning to worry about hurting Sam's ears with how often I end up shouting at him.

Sam was quick to try to stop my panicking and explain. "I imprinted. The Elders say that it means that Emily is my perfect match and that you and I have no hope and I don't _want_ that and can't we just pretend it didn't happen?" He said in a desperate attempt to avoid dealing with the entire _unfortunate_ situation. I can tell that the thought of being forced to be with another person that he just met because of fate or gods or another entity controlling Sam and his emotions disturbs him, but his feeling on the matter are less important that I'm having to deal with the fact that my finance just _fell in love with my cousin_.

"So lets get this straight. The Elders told you that you imprinted." Sam nodded. "Imprinting is basically love at first sight." Sam agreed again, but with a hint of hesitancy. "You imprinted on my cousin, Emily." That time he agreed with a little too much enthusiasm. My heart sunk. "So, you are in love with Emily?"

Sam shook his head vehemently. "No. Leah, I love you! I have loved you for four years and I will continue to love you until I die. Emily is important to me but she is not my future wife. _You are_. And until you tell me to leave, I won't. The Elders told me that imprinting means that I will become whatever Emily needs because she is the center of my world. Screw the world and its center. You are my sun, my reason for living, constantly giving me the strength to survive and the warmth that I need to truly _live._ I want to continue with the wedding. I want to become your husband, til death do us part. I am yours until you say differently."

I melted. How could you not when a man professes his undying (Yes, I know it wasn't undying, he actually did mention dying, an- I shouldn't have to rationalize this to my own brain!) to you? There may be many things that Sam and I need to fix, but I have no doubt about one thing: Sam loves me, and I love him. Things will work out. Emily can't have Sam, he's mine, if she wants him, she'll have to come down here and catch him.

* * *

Emily comes to visit the Reservation quite often now, after the whole imprinting fiasco. I don't mind too much. I know how devoted Sam is to me and I'm not much for jealousy. Plus, once upon a time, I considered Emily to be a sister, so its nice to see her again. Even if she only comes around when Sam is home. Even if she smiles at him a great deal more than necessary. Even if I've walked into my house to find her seated beside an uncomfortable Sam. I'm not worried about Sam, he could claw her eyes out if it pleased him. Of course, he wouldn't. But I think I'm loosing him.

He loves her, I can see him leaning closer and closer to her every time I see them together. Oh, he fights it, but I can see how hard it is for him to continue acting like he's fine. Whenever Emily isn't around he's always tense. When she doesn't come over for more than a week it looks as if he is getting ripped apart.

I'm the one ripping him apart.

I'm not the only reason, but I am the root of it all. The only reason Sam's hurting is because he isn't with his imprint, his _soulmate_. The only reason he isn't with Emily is because he loves me. Or at least is too stubborn to admit that maybe he loves Emily more. I don't know if he loves her because of the imprint or if he would have seen her before those fateful two weeks and fallen madly in love with her. But how could he forget all our memories? All the times my crappy car broke down and he had to come find me and take me home, the times he would break into my house at night and we would stay up all night, talking softly so my dad didn't hear us. How could he stop loving me just because of my damn cousin?

How could I think that? I know he hasn't forgotten me, or us. I can still see the same amount of love in his eyes as when he came back from being a wolf. That love hasn't diminished, but sometimes I see him looking at Emily and the love I see in his eyes is so adoring, so pure that it worries me. Does it make me a bad person that I want Emily to just leave and never come back? But of course I don't, that would hurt Sam.

Maybe they _are_ meant for each other, maybe I'm just being selfish. How is it fair to Sam to keep him from his one true love?

How is it fair to me that I have to see him fall more deeply in love with _her_ than he is with me?

I should let him go. He isn't mine, not anymore. How could I be so cruel as to keep him when my love so obviously pains him? I know that he would never be the one to end it, he said it so himself! I had so much hope, I am, after all, in love. Sam is my first love, people always say those don't last. I want it last! Why should I have to give him up? I'm the one who knows all the lines on his palms and I'm the one who fits perfectly against his side. This is supposed to be my house, Emily is supposed to be my friend, and Sam is supposed to be my husband. How come Emily gets my happily ever after?

And I thought I wasn't the jealous type.


End file.
